Decades of searching, picking up treasures, smelling the flowers and watching them whither. Such a tedious process, seemingly endless. I thought I had figured it all out. Learned how to dance without being too self-conscious, how to chime into a conversation with license behind my words, and how to feel less uncomfortable in my skin. It's funny (not really funny) but painfully odd, how quickly all of that can change. Painfully odd, how self-assured one can feel for such a brief period before shrinking back into nothing.