The Mixed Tape Of My Life

I’m not sure what the catalyst for this venture was, but lately I’ve been compiling a list of songs in my head that make up the “mixed tape” for my life so far.  Upon listening to each song, I am immediately taken back to a very specific time; whether it’s a first concert, a first love, a loss, cruising with my best friends, moments with my babies, and so on.  Obviously there are hundreds of songs that I’d like to add to the list, but I’ve limited myself to twenty-five…. I don’t think more than twenty-five would fit on a mixed tape.

I’m having a hard time thinking of songs from the past five years, but someday I’ll hear a song and know it belongs on this list for this time in my life; but for now, I’d say this is pretty accurate. 

In consecutive order:

1.       My BestFriend’s Girl, by The Cars 

When asked in 3^rd grade who my favorite band was, this was my answer…. Everyone laughed at me. I didn’t care.  I loved The Cars.  And as it turns out, this would also be one of my favorite songs in High School. 

2.       How WillI Know, by Whitney Houston 

My first crush: Eric Melton (or was it Ian Hall?)  Second grade.... but seriously, how WILL I know if he really loves me?  ;)

3.       Only in my Dreams, by Debbie Gibson 

My first concert.  Totally obsessed.  Official member of the Debbie Gibson fan club.  Proud owner and wearer of Debbie Gibson’s perfume: Electric Youth.

4.       EveryRose Has It’s Thorn, by Poison http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2r2nDhTzO4

The first genre of music my parents didn’t understand.  Thank you Sarah Moore. 

5.       WindBeneath My Wings, by Bette Midler 

My aunt Nancy died. She was 21 and beautiful.  I still can’t listen to this song without crying.

6.       Nuthin’But A “G” Thang, by Dr. Dre 

Introduced to an album (which is still one of my favorites) by Frank Mendez and Robert Mayorga. We drank Mad Dog 50/50 out of a water bottle…. 7^th grade.

7.       Close ToYou, by The Carpenters 

PJ Wilson used to sing it to me.  It was pretty sweet.  I sing this song to my kids now.

8.       Mockingbird, by Carly Simon & James Taylor 

Robyn and I KILLED at singing this song, duet style, cruising the Ford Fiesta around Dixon.

9.       Here comethe Bastards, by Primus 

Saw Primus with Tool each year with PJ, Dan, and others I can’t remember.  Also, when I hear my kids wake up in the morning on the weekends, this song comes to mind immediately.

10.   Love Song, by The Cure 

Introduced to me when I was about 16 by a much older neighbor who had the hots for me.  More importantly, I think this song perfectly encapsulates that feeling of when you first fall in love with someone.

11.   Plateau, by Nirvana 

I don’t know why this one means so much to me…. It just does.  I listened to it a lot.

12. Simple Man, Leonard Skynard
Just really great advice for a simple and happy life.

13.   The Joker, by Steve Miller Band 

Drinking beers with my friends at The Airstrip and Thistle Road: my favorite thing to do in Dixon… also the ONLY thing to do in Dixon.

14.   Don’t Rock My Boat, Bob Marley & Lee Perry 

Hanging out at Jeremiah Smith’s house.  Seriously crushing on AJ Bernhardt. Also reminds me of Robyn and her amazing dad, Alex… who had the sickest collection of classic reggae albums.

15.   I Want It, by 7 Year Bitch 

17 years old. Also enjoyed frequently in Robyn’s car.  Saw them in SF with Kristen Ball and Volpi.  We got lost on BART on the way home, and ended up getting an escort from a police man.

16.   LoveBites, by Def Leppard 

Summer anthem. Melissa Graham. Tanglewood.

17.   Walk Away, by Ben Harper 

Seriously broken heart.  I thought he was "the one."  Turns out, he wasn't; and I am so thankful for that lesson.

18.   ScarTissue, Chilli Peppers 

This album was on repeat that year with a friend I miss often, Bobby Atkinson

19.   YourHouse, Steel Pulse 

Fell madly in love with Kevin (we’ll be married 10 years this October).  This song is our song.  Retrospectively, it's pretty awesome that I felt song #19 so intensely, and then this song shortly thereafter.  You couldn't pay me to be 20 again.

20. First Cut Is The Deepest, by Cat Stevens
Working at The Shadowbrook, Terry and Terry would sing this song on Thursdays and Saturdays.  Became an instant favorite.

21. Your Love Gets Sweeter Everyday, Finley Quay
Dancing with the Douglass roommates atop furniture at Douglass....Julie and Nicole.  Anthem for my relationship with Kevin.

22.   Pimpass Paradise, Damian Marley 

Seemed to be my theme song for a bit, and now it isn’t.  Still love this song.

23. Nutshell, by Alice in Chains
Lyrics that chill me to the bone.  Someone else gets it.

24. The Blower's Daughter, by Damien Rice 
I love my babies.  This song makes me think of all of the tiny moments I've looked at them and fallen more deeply in love with them. Nothing else matters in this world.  Nothing.

25.   American Girl, by Tom Petty 

This is, and has been, my favorite song for about 15 years now.  Tom Petty is my favorite performer and song writer.  I can’t listen to a Tom Petty song without thinking of my oldest friend, Courtney Rae.

Rollerblades and a Banana Phone!

This blog post pretty much consists of a photo.  Who has the time or the desire to read about my family today anyway?  I was taking this picture of Haley as she set out to roller blade.  She was looking pretty cute in her helmet, pads and blades.  Sam comes out of know where, decides he needs to be in the picture and yells "Banana Phone!"

So happy Sunday people....make it a banana phone kinda day!  xo

Today my husband, and dedicated father to our children, is taking Haley (almost 7) to learn how to surf.  She's got ocean swimming, boogie boarding and body surfing locked down, and so now the natural progression is to surf, on a real board, standing up.  This is precisely what motivated our family to move back to Santa Cruz four years ago.

You'd think I'd be out there, snapping hundreds of photographs of this milestone in her life, but I am not.  Surely I will have some regrets a little later, but for now, I just need everyone to exit the house. "Go, go!  Have fun, Haley.  Tear it up! Just remember, if you don't stand up on your first try, you'll get it next time!  Ok, off you go!  Have fun; and Kevin, guard her with your life!"

Finally, the peace and quiet I've been waiting for, but more importantly, it is my sneaky time!  I've got a pint of Hagen Daaz Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream in my freezer that is calling my name.  I think it feels neglected that it had to sit in my freezer for a full twelve hours before receiving the attention it deserved.  So the family is finally out of the house and I grab the pint, like I'm some kind of junkie.  I remove the lid, and then that little plastic wrapping, and dig my spoon into the glorious cup of frozen chocolate until I hit a frozen mound of peanut butter.  SUCCESS!

So, in short, I hope that my darling Haley has memories of today that will last a lifetime.  In fact I know she will.  As for me, I polished off my pint of Hagen Daas, and will retreat to my comfortable bed to read a book, sleep or whatever else I feel like doing.  After all, it is June 30th, and that is what June 30th is all about right?  Right??

It’s not me, it’s you: Breaking up with Facebook

What once began as a small blogging site restricted for use by Harvard students has grown into a wildly successful conglomerate with a staggering 500 million registered users.  Facebook (formerly known as Facemash) is utilized for countless reasons, some of which include keeping in contact with friends and family, promoting businesses, a tool for employers to learn about prospective employees, and the list goes on.  I literally could not begin to list the reasons people use Facebook.

My personal use of the website began a bit late.  I used to be one of those people who initially rejected new forms of technology and social media forums.  I suppose my reasoning was that I didn’t want to be accessible to anyone at any time.  If I needed to get ahold of someone I could call them on my house phone.  I didn’t want people tracking me down where ever I was, night and day.  Of course that changed over the years.  I was the last of my friends to get a cell phone, the last to sign up for Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter.  I vehemently rejected the Smartphone until I received the latest and greatest for my birthday, and wouldn’t you know it, I can’t put the darn thing down.  In summary, I tend to reject technology and then at some point I give in, and am addicted shortly thereafter.

Facebook is constantly changing.  They are SMART.  Just the other day I logged in and a giant picture appeared with a swimsuit I’d been admiring a few days before on the Nordstrom website.  Spooky.  That is not the reason I decided to deactivate my Facebook account though.  My account had become my personal yet public venting arena.  It had become my children’s photo album and baby book.  It had become my work space.  It had become the place where my entire life took place behind a computer screen, rather than with face to face interactions.  I checked it at least ten times a day (probably more, but telling you would just be embarrassing).  Lastly, and most importantly, it became the place where people could say whatever came to mind without having a filter- the computer screen had become the filter and that inanimate  object cannot relay humor, sarcasm, or spite efficiently. 

So what?  I’ve broken up with Facebook….again.  I’ve done it before and I’ll probably do it again; but for now I think I will go out and have some real life, face to face interactions.  If someone is being sarcastic, it will be clear.  If someone is being kind, it will be clear.  If someone wants to invite me to a party, they can send me an invitation or call me on the phone.

So Facebook, I am breaking up with you; and just so you know, it’s you...not me.

A Little Bit Of Red Lipstick Goes A Long Way. . .

A little bit of red lipstick goes a long way...that and a new haircut!

All of us girls have felt this way at one time or another: maybe a little dull, tired out, and frumpy to the point of hiding at home for a while.  (If you have never felt that way, I'm going to have to call you out as a liar).  Looks certainly are only the shell of who we are, but you have to concede that when you aren't feeling confident, you don't come off as confident.

I was going through one of these little periods, and it lasted a little longer than normal.  I was sick of my stupid hair style and color, I'd gained a few (fifteen) holiday pounds, I wasn't working, and well, I just felt like hiding away.  Let's face it: I'm in my thirties, I have two (awesome) children, and I've been married for eight years; do I even need to look pretty anymore!?!?  I say, YES!

I had bought myself a tube of true red lipstick from my beloved Chanel counter, and it sat in my "tackle-box" for weeks before I took it back out again.  Red lipstick is not for the faint of heart.  One afternoon, when I'd simply had enough, I called my hair stylist and she booked an appointment for me the following weekend.  She knew that she had a tough job ahead of her, so she booked me from two p.m. until close.  That's a lot of time.  One more week passed, and I wore my baggy sweats, my darkest shades, always a beanie, and I avoided public interaction as much as possible.  And then, Saturday arrived.

I walked in and told Kim, "Shave it all off, I honestly don't care.  I'm sick of it."  For the next five hours she worked her magic, as only someone that's been in the business for over 25 years can do.  I looked like a radio antenna with foils covering my head, and was relieved to finally...FINALLY....see a color that I loved.  Much like a psychiatrist, we talked about why I wanted to grow my hair out.  'Did I really?  Why?  Who likes it long? Not you?'  Turns out I DID want to chop it.

So, long story short, (not really...it turned out quite long, didn't it!?) I have this new style that makes it fun to go out again.  Pair it with some Chanel Red lipstick, and I can't help choose something cute to wear over the ole' sweatpants.  Thank you Kim and Chanel!

Stuff that nightmares are made of:

Today the unthinkable happened: an event that I have literally had nightmares about for years.  Before I go into greater detail, let me explain a couple of things.  I genuinely believe that living simply is the only way to go through life.  "Things" do not sum up to happiness.  Now adding to the equation that I am human, I cannot help but fall prey to the occasional materialistic indulgence. In fact, my last blog entry was about a few of the items that I enjoy having in my everyday life.  With that said, I do make a conscious effort to focus on things like love, health, happiness and good will; and I try not to get overly concerned with material possessions.

About six years ago I was Christmas shopping, when low and behold, I found the perfect gift.....for myself.  I was at Urban Outfitters, (which is essentially The Goodwill but with crazy expensive price tags), when I spotted a coffee mug that I couldn't live without.  There was something about it.  What first caught my eye was the art that decorated the cup.  It looked just like the San Francisco skyline, but drawn in a way that looked like a sketch or a doodle.  Lots of pretty colors.  Very simple.  Unlike everything else in the store, the mug was marked at an affordable fourteen dollars.  Like I said, I had to have it.  It called my name and spoke to my heart.

In the seventy-three months that I've owned it, I can honestly say that I have used it nearly every day (with the exception of out-of-town trips).  That's almost 2,220 times.  Even if every other cup in the house was clean, and that one alone was dirty, I would make the effort to wash and dry it....because simply put, no other cup compared.  It was lightweight.  The diameter was just perfect.  The rim of the cup was not too thin, nor too thick.  I never got tired of looking at the drawing, and it often reminded me of the time I lived in SF.  I loved this stupid mug.  I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I've had recurring nightmares of this silly mug breaking.  Many, many times I have woken up in a panic.  I've even gone as far as to look for a "back-up" online for the inevitable day that it would break.

Today, as I sat in the living room with my son, I heard a crash and knew immediately what had happened.  You hear about twin siblings describe how they knew the moment something bad happened to their twin?  Today I  felt the same. (I just re-read that sentence, and I hang my head in embarrassment).  I knew that fateful crash was that of my beloved Julia Rothman mug.  I didn't even bother getting up.  My poor little six year-old daughter walked in, eyes filled with tears, and could barely make out the words, "Mama, I broke your favorite cup."  I was disappointed of course, but told her, "It's okay honey.  It's only a dish.  You didn't get hurt did you?"  After all, it was only a cup.  (A cup I'd give my left pinky toe to have back in one piece).

Today I lost a friend.  A constant companion.  My "blankie."  Why on earth did this silly little token mean so much to me!?!?  I feel like I live pretty simply on a daily basis, but today, I feel quite materialistic; and that's okay... I will allow myself to grieve.  :)  Rest in peace, my simplest pleasure.

Livin' in the 21st Century

Sometimes I wonder what it must have been like to live in the "olden days," when life was so much simpler.  When salt and pepper were considered a delicacy.  When you had to speak with the telephone operator to place a call; or better yet, communicate by telegram. When kids could play outside from dawn to dusk, without having to worry about "stranger danger."  I'm a big fan of simplicity, but honestly, it's doubtful I'd last a full day.  There are some products of the 20th and 21st century that give me the warm and fuzzies.  Here is a short list:

*Digital cameras, (and good old 35mm cameras too, for that matter).

*Mr. Clean Magic Erasers.  These things are made of pure magic, and are a godsend to parents of toddlers.

*Pandora

*Red Lipstick

*Facebook.  (I'm beyond help at this point.  Straight up addicted).

*The Supermarket! I think it's pretty awesome that I can get everything I need to feed my family and clean my house in one store.  I do prefer to buy all of my fruits n' veggies at the local fruit stand, but everything else...one stop shopping!

*Web MD

*Peanut Butter Cap'n Cruch

*The Debit Card.  How did people function without this?!?!  Not sure, just glad I don't have to.

*My iPhone... I flat out rejected cell phones until last month, when the Hubby bought me this ridiculous gadget. I didn't like the idea of people calling me whenever they felt like it.  I would misplace it for days at a time, occasionally even weeks, and it didn't bother me one bit.  However for the last month, my phone and I have been inseperable.  FB anytime?  Angry Birds?  Words With Friends?  Facetime!?!  Siri!  Brilliant!

Obviously, nothing on this list is a necessity. I would live a long and healthy life if any one of these things were taken away from me, but thankfully, trying that out isn't necessary!  What are a few of your favorite must-haves?